Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
