I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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