cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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