I hate all girls vehemently.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
