Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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