i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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