he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
