What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
