It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
