You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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