Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
