I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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