he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
...so i touched it.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
