every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
