I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
