you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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