that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
