sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
