Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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