Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
