She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
