she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
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