Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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