Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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