She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
