You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
