Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
