I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
