I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
