Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
