I accidentally burped into my bong.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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