I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
