my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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