I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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