do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
