You really coming over, don't trick.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
