soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
