Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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