Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
