So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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