Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
