The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
