You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
