she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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