Your tits are I can't wait for
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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