I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm just crazy horny about you
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
