Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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