Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
