best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
