when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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