I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
