She's JV to your varsity
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
