Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
