forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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