Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
