He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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